CLARKE: THAT F*CKING GUY!

28th January 2011

Post with 6 notes

JOB BLOG 4: - DOING THE ROUNDS: PT 2

BIGGER THE FALL THE HIGHER THE BOUNCE (but not for me)

Early 2001… I was on a down. I was starting to get frustrated. Why wasn’t I getting seen for the jobs? Why couldn’t I get work? The agent didn’t have an answer. I knew what the answer was. It wasn’t their fault; the jobs simply weren’t there. I wasn’t even half a name in the business, I had nothing really going on and I was simply not good enough. Honestly sometimes as an unemployed actor you really have to think about quitting and getting a proper job. This part of 2001 was one of those times.

I was still at the gym, people asked me all the time when are you gonna do this? How is that? What are you on next? It was embarrassing, you feel like you have to say that you are just waiting for the right thing or that you are writing stuff. I was. You see family and friends at events and they ask you, what are you working on now? And you say the same thing but really you just can’t get a fucking job.

I kept auditioning and eventually I landed a 3 episode part on CASUALTY. I was happy about that but you go do your thing and leave. Most of the regulars were absolutely lovely; Adjoa Andoh for example (who I would work with again) but some treat you like… Well I won’t say, but I left there thinking I can do more than this. Why am not getting the work I want? And it played in my head over, and over, and over, and over again.

I was still writing and by now KiDULTHOOD was written but just sort of sitting on my computer. I’d also co-written a wedding film called the THE KNOT with some friends and a short called LICKS, but as nothing was happening at all my friends and I decided to produce LICKS ourselves, starring me and http://twitter.com/#!/ortisdeley among others. It was a steep learning curve and we spent a lot of money we didn’t have, money that a gym instructor couldn’t afford. Times got tough, but I at least felt I’d taken control and done something for myself instead of waiting for others, and you know what? I liked it.

I then landed a few other small roles, one in a short called THE LAST ANGEL and a one episode guest spot on a US show called ADVENTURES INC - Things I was happy about getting, but things that made me realise even more that if I was to do anything good, anything great in this business I would have to try and do it myself. But then I got a call that made me think my luck was about to change.

A certain channel was making a new 6-part Cop show, with an old cop and a young new cop. And they’d seen Metrosexuality and wanted me to be the young cop. I couldn’t believe it. No audition, nothing, this job was mine. I went in and met the people and it was all-good. I was beside myself; finally I was getting what I thought in my head I deserved. It all started getting set up; the producers were nice and then one day in prep they switched directors and the new director wanted me to suddenly come and read for them.

WTF?? I was so confused; I thought this was my job. They assured me it was and that she just wanted to get my vibe. I go and read, she nodded, smiled, shook my hand and I left. Two days later my agent got a letter saying that I no longer had the job and perhaps I should consider going to acting classes.

I was at my lowest point…. I was broke, I was not getting any auditions, and even jobs I had I was getting kicked off. My mum wanted to know when I was getting a proper job, my girl couldn’t keep supporting me and on top of that, I was told I should go and take classes. I WAS SIMPLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I vowed that would get those producers back in my head. (I hold grudges. That’s how I roll. It drives me)

Days, weeks, months went by with nothing, no calls, and no auditions except for cattle call advert auditions where they really make you feel shit. Jumping around like a lunatic, for nothing

I’d never given up on anything in my life but I was getting older and I was beginning to think that although acting was everything to me, I didn’t mean shit to it… I was thinking I needed to get a real job or maybe go back to uni, I was thinking maybe I should quit.

Then the phone rang.

CASUALTY: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0537566/

LICKS: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0353666/

THE LAST ANGEL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318396/

ADVENTURES INC: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0505562/

COMING SOON: JOB BLOG 5 - BEING SHIT AND WRITING HITS.

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