CLARKE: THAT F*CKING GUY!

6th December 2009

Post with 3 notes

BIRTHDAY!!

BIRTHDAY

So I’m another year older today. Now while I’m thankful that I’m still alive and all that. I’m not really chuffed that I’m getting older. My bones click, girls don’t fancy me, (they use too) loud music annoys me, and the only post I get are bills. I was on the train from Manchester the other day in a flat cap, with my reading glasses on and doing a deal on the phone. The train went into a tunnel and I looked to my left and thought who is that old fuck looking at me… It was me… My reflection. I was not happy. Part of me still sees my self as this young hungry actor just hoping I’ll get my next job, and of course not getting them, but being eternally positive… But there I was, an old fuck.

An old fuck… Perception is a funny thing..  A lot of people perceive me to be this guy who swaggers around making films, hanging out with famous people and partying.

Truth is, yeah, I walk with swagger. Fuck it… I deserve that. Plus I’ve always walked like that since I was young. I’m not stupid though; it comes out when it needs too. Only when people tell me i can’t or never will do or achieve something. Then i Do it… And I do make films, but I don’t get thrown jobs or money to make that happen. Every single film I’ve been involved in making has been a struggle and more work then I could write about here to get made. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love work i love what I do. I do know a lot of actors, it’s my job, but my friends that I hang out with are mostly my friends from school and 6^th form college and the like. That’s all I’m about really. Family, Friends, Making Movies/TV.

So today. The day I popped out my mum all those years ago will be the first day off I’ve had in maybe 4months. Even in NYC and LA I was working. Like I said it doesn’t always feel like work I love it so much but none the less it is. So today I think will be a relax day. As much as I can relax… I’m gonna finish this, so anyone interested can get an insight into me boring little life. After this I’m gonna handle my husbandly duties… Then I’m gonna get the boy dressed and take him out for some Dad, Boy time at the park. He’s only 19 months but that boy is two footed, with an extra mean left foot on him and good ball control already.

Then I’m just gonna come back and chill out with The Mrs and People I’ve known since I was 3, 11, and 16, respectively and have a nice lunch.

Alright… We’ll eat on the couch play 4player PS3 or XBOX 360 while the wives and girlfriends are doing the birthday lunch, but you get my drift. And in those few brief hours without the flat cap and glasses and doing deals on the phone I’ll just be me again. That young actor with his three best mates, not knowing what the fuck is gonna happen in the future, and not caring… All good in the hood.

P.S.

I’m presenting at the BIFAS tonight so technically I’ll still be working today and I’ve already thought of a TV series and made a note about it on another document while writing this. I can’t really ever turn off the work mind now. It’s part of me, and I’m glad. The young PS3 playing, bill paying, Demon slaying, girl laying guy is here, but the old voice blaring, glasses wearing, sea faring, memo tearing business fuck is here as well. And really…  I love it.

Gotta go.

There is woman wearing very little waiting for me in me room. And a potential future left winger waiting to go to the park.

NC

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