NORMAL GUY, WEIRD JOB.
I say what i say, read if you want, or don't... You may learn something.
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7th June 2013

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SOON!

Returning to the Bloggershpere soon, with a lot to say! 

14th February 2012

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DEATH IN THE FAMILY

So the first thing you do when someone really close to you dies is stop and wonder why people are still walking their dogs, why cars are still moving and people are still out laughing and having fun.

Because for you the world stops because you just lost someone so close and you wish that for even a millisecond that everyone the world would stop and take notice how special they were as well.

But that’s not reality.

My cousin Levi died yesterday. Not just a cousin that you don’t know or never speak to, but a close cousin (brother) that I grew up with from trips to Trinidad and Canada and later New York.

He was only 31.

I think to myself… Why him? But I know everyone thinks that when it’s their family member. I can think of 100 people to go before him, people that aren’t good people and are bowling around seemingly without a care in the world… But I guess it doesn’t work that way.

I still don’t know how or why he died. It was nothing untoward but bottom line is he isn’t here anymore. It messes with your head a bit, makes you think about things you should probably think about more often, like when was the last time you told your mum or close family that you loved them, are you doing good positive things with your life or why am I letting this dickhead continually bad mouth me without retaliating?

My passions and temper run high daily anyway and things like this only light a fuse.

One half of me wants to call everyone I have a problem with and just say you know what, lets just start again. (I’ve been doing this job for 15 years now and there are only 6 people I can’t stand with a passion. Not a bad ratio I think.)

The other half of me wants to find those 6 people and hurt them… very badly. Of course It’s not their fault, but when someone dies close to you, you just feel like you want to direct your anger somewhere, anywhere, at least I do.

I did, and will do neither of the above.

Instead I hugged my kids and took them toy shopping just so I could see them smile. Then I went out in the evening to take my mind off it. Though you can’t stop thinking about it. Those are the only things that got me through yesterday with out breaking down, and today I’m just gonna work and graft like I always do. I’m gonna work even harder. I’m gonna use Levi’s death, this passion and emotion to write and work, to drive me further and further, to improve at everything I do, to make more movies and not stop until I can’t physically do it anymore.

That’s what I do…

Use things like this as fuel, adding to the burning driven fury I always have.

That’s what Levi would want me to do… God took him away. 

God help anyone who wants to get in mine.

Levi Thomas 10/APRIL/1980 – 12/FEBUARY/2012

R.I.P Brother.

NC

4th February 2012

Photoset with 10 notes

We all loved CH4’s TopBoy.

But did you know that the bin that Ashley stands on is a Prop bin?

More interesting than that. The symbol on the bin is my design and is from a film I was planning called ANTI HERO

It’s a british vigilante Superhero film (That Still Might Happen) and I had leaked the sign in a few different places in 4321, including on that bin, because i was planning on doing that next. We were with a good company that waited until they approved the script and we were ready to shoot then said “it might not be a (the company name) Film” possibly because it was “Too Urban” who knows.  So I went and did others things, but the script is still ready to go and i’ve put new directors on it now.

Anyone up for a UK superhero?

Also the first person that can tell me how many times the ANTIHERO logo is in 4321 and where. Wins a personalised signed copy of whichever of my films they want.

NC

22nd August 2011

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http://say.ly/vhvCIT →

NEW BLOG from my company @unstoppableltd http://www.unstoppableentertainmentuk.com/ About THE KNOT Check it out

View more on WhoSay »

29th July 2011

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TRENDING WORLDWIDE

So Kidulthood and Adulthood came on TV the other day. Kidulthood had been on before, but for Adulthood June 20th 2011 this was the first time. The big terrestrial TV premiere.

Kidulthood had done well it trended on Twitter top in the UK and so had a couple of the lead male actors, proving that the film still resonated with people of all ages around the country - it still had the power to affect people.

A week later Adulthood came on and literally social networking went crazy.  The fans came out and watched and supported, and this little film from the UK and myself for one night only trended worldwide, from the sheer force of people watching and mentioning it and my name.

Trending worldwide is usually reserved for extra famous (which I’m not) or people dead (which I’m not, as far as I’m aware, yet) so to see it up there was nice.

The film was a real team effort. No one is bigger than the films and I’m mad appreciative that people still love the movies and the actors in them.

The truth is this though - that was just one night, careers are about longevity and quality so even though we trended for one night, in the grand scheme of things it actually means nothing. The next morning I still got up and went to work and did the shopping.

What’s important is appreciating and supporting the people that support you. And I do, so thank you all very much for showing that support.

Lots of people tell me I should do a 3rd part to the films (I can’t lie and say I don’t have an idea) but for many reasons I don’t think I should, but if anything made me think about it more, it was the response I and the films were given by you.

NC

So what do you think? time for #BROTHERHOOD ?

24th July 2011

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AMY WINEHOUSE
(Before we start, i did NOT know Amy, these are my thoughts)
All I see when I look at the above picture of Amy Winehouse is a girl with hope. A beautiful girl, with hope, love, and passion for her music.
Someone so gifted that she’ll still be spoken about in 100 years time, although I hope she’s remembered for this pic and her music not the way the press hounded her and made her look.
I’ve seen and heard a lot of cunts talking about how she did drugs and got what was coming. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO… She did NOT get what was coming. Addiction is a dangerous thing that can’t be controlled it is an illness. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t condone or do any drugs, never have, it’s just not me, but I don’t judge others on what they do, when I’m not in their shoes.
“It’s easy to talk about what you think is happening on top of the mountain when you haven’t even started climbing it yet”.
What I can say is this. Being in the public eye and I probably get 00.01% (if that) of the attention she got, it can be a very stressful.
It doesn’t matter what day I’m having. I have to smile at people that approach me, I have to listen to people tell me they want my email to send me a script cos they know a guy that knows my friend personally and because of that they thought I’d read it. I have to take the 10 CD’s I’m handed a day of some guys mixtape, and when only 1 can get on a film that’s 9 other people that suddenly are hating. I have to take abuse online and am not supposed to speak back. I have to stop and sign autographs when I’m eating with my family, or in hospital with my son, because if I don’t I’m the dickhead, and sometimes it can get on top.
So you find other ways to stay in your world where you can just be you, you find those places and those people and those things you enjoy just to escape the white noise… and that time becomes everything to you. Amy needed space and time to be on her own to just be Amy… not Amy Winehouse, but was never left alone.
And don’t gimme that shit about we choose this life. You think I care about been known. I don’t. I care about my work. You think Amy just wanted to be famous? No, I doubt she did. She wanted to fucking sing songs, and damn it, she did. Better than most people ever will.
So fuck anyone that say’s she deserved it or should have been more responsible. The pressure of her life must have been immense, I’ve heard a lot of people talking about how if they had this or that and had her life they would be so happy and embrace it, and do the right thing.
But the truth is you have no idea how you’ll handle it. Because when you are on camera, when you are part of public awareness, at the lowest level like me or a A-list level like her it’s something you just can’t understand or know how you will deal with until you experience it.
So all you twisted fucks that said anything negative, said anything about her without the slightest speck of understanding of what it’s like. I don’t wish anything bad on you… In fact.
I wish you all the success in the world…

AMY WINEHOUSE

(Before we start, i did NOT know Amy, these are my thoughts)

All I see when I look at the above picture of Amy Winehouse is a girl with hope. A beautiful girl, with hope, love, and passion for her music.

Someone so gifted that she’ll still be spoken about in 100 years time, although I hope she’s remembered for this pic and her music not the way the press hounded her and made her look.

I’ve seen and heard a lot of cunts talking about how she did drugs and got what was coming. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO… She did NOT get what was coming. Addiction is a dangerous thing that can’t be controlled it is an illness. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t condone or do any drugs, never have, it’s just not me, but I don’t judge others on what they do, when I’m not in their shoes.

“It’s easy to talk about what you think is happening on top of the mountain when you haven’t even started climbing it yet”.

What I can say is this. Being in the public eye and I probably get 00.01% (if that) of the attention she got, it can be a very stressful.

It doesn’t matter what day I’m having. I have to smile at people that approach me, I have to listen to people tell me they want my email to send me a script cos they know a guy that knows my friend personally and because of that they thought I’d read it. I have to take the 10 CD’s I’m handed a day of some guys mixtape, and when only 1 can get on a film that’s 9 other people that suddenly are hating. I have to take abuse online and am not supposed to speak back. I have to stop and sign autographs when I’m eating with my family, or in hospital with my son, because if I don’t I’m the dickhead, and sometimes it can get on top.

So you find other ways to stay in your world where you can just be you, you find those places and those people and those things you enjoy just to escape the white noise… and that time becomes everything to you. Amy needed space and time to be on her own to just be Amy… not Amy Winehouse, but was never left alone.

And don’t gimme that shit about we choose this life. You think I care about been known. I don’t. I care about my work. You think Amy just wanted to be famous? No, I doubt she did. She wanted to fucking sing songs, and damn it, she did. Better than most people ever will.

So fuck anyone that say’s she deserved it or should have been more responsible. The pressure of her life must have been immense, I’ve heard a lot of people talking about how if they had this or that and had her life they would be so happy and embrace it, and do the right thing.

But the truth is you have no idea how you’ll handle it. Because when you are on camera, when you are part of public awareness, at the lowest level like me or a A-list level like her it’s something you just can’t understand or know how you will deal with until you experience it.

So all you twisted fucks that said anything negative, said anything about her without the slightest speck of understanding of what it’s like. I don’t wish anything bad on you… In fact.

I wish you all the success in the world…

13th June 2011

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HOME AWAY FROM HOME

So what do you really know about me? Really? Not much I bet… Well one thing is that I’ve never really felt at home here. What?! You say. Yes I was born in the UK, England, London, West London, Ladbroke Grove and I love my area, but…

I grew up with just my mum and yeah I had friends but I was a really solitary creature. It’s what makes me, me. Keeps me driven and single minded. So where do I feel at home? They say home is not only where you are but where you’d like to be. So where is that for me?

Well little bits of America, where I have friends and family… LA, ARIZONA, NYC (My cousins are standing behind Eve in my movie 4321)

But the place I feel most at home, the place I’ve been 19 times, where my family – 4 aunts, 10 cousins and grandmother all live is Brampton (not far from Toronto) Ontario, CANADA. That’s where feels like home to me and maybe one day I’ll want to settle there, I haven’t decided yet.

I love the people, the city, the food, the vibe, the fact that you can drive to New York in 8 hours, summer is hot and winter is cold. And it’s busy enough to feel like a major city but quiet and big enough that you feel you have space.

I don’t work for their tourist board, but honestly if you’ve never been out there and want to chill out on holiday then you should go, and if I’m there too, come say hello.

NC

P.S - All pictures taken by me.

6th March 2011

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THE SAGA SO FAR: JOB BLOGS 1-5

The journey thus far… it’s long.

JOB BLOG 1: - THE SNOWBALL EFFECT

HETROSEXUALITY/METROSEXUALITY

It’s 1999 all I’ve ever wanted to do with my life is act. It’s been 3 months since I left Uni to try acting for a year (In my naivety, I thought a year was enough) I’m about to start the pilot of Metrosexuality which is called Heterosexuality and I think I’m untouchable.

How very wrong I was.

So basically I’d been working in a gym and I heard that a guy I know a bit, director Rikki beadle Blair https://twitter.com/RikkiBB is gonna shoot the pilot of his show.

 I asked if I could audition because the whole point of me going full time in the gym was to try and get into acting somehow with a flexible job like this I could get it done. I was kind of too old to play a 16 year old, but he told me if I could look young then I could go along.

Cue-shaving face-head and legs (shut up)

Anyway, because there is only so far a gym wage can take you, after bills and living, and because for whatever reason I’d spent a lot of money that month, I could only really get a bus one way.

I decided to get the bus there so I wouldn’t arrive sweaty. I smacked the audition and was walking home when I got the call that the CH4 producers were happy for me to be the lead. I had no agent or anything but it was a job… A start.

Weirdly though, I thought that was it. Like a lot of young actors do, I thought that was it, and once you were in you would just be doing films and TV whenever you wanted. I never really thought about the rejection after rejection, after rejection, after rejection, after rejection, after rejection, after rejection, that you get as an actor. Truth is 90% of actors don’t work.

It’s hard. You have to want it, because it’s you. Because it’s all you are… Not for fame or money or anything like that. It has to be a part of you.

Anyway, so the job itself was great. I didn’t think it would ever become a series, but after the pilot channel 4 commissioned a 6 part series and Metrosexuality was born.

It was a vibrant colourful show straight from Rikki’s mind. he acted, wrote and starred in it and it is from him that I take a lot of my work ethic. It was also the first time I met a mr Mark Davis (4321) and a young lady called https://twitter.com/preeyakalidas

 We became friends and have been friends ever since.  Not a lot of people know that.

Being a multi cultural, multi sexual show, the show itself caused some controversy and I had a lot of shallow so called friends dropped off, not really wanting to associate with guy in the “gay” show.

It was tough round the manor and I did think about not doing it. I was never scared to be an individual, my mum taught me that. But that’s when me and my real boys, actively started our fuck em mindset. “it ain’t even an issue, you ain’t with me, I do my thing myself”. (Big Up PHIL, DES, GEOFF, and DAVIE)

So once I came to my senses my mindset was this. In the future are any of these people telling me not to do this job going to pay my bills for me?

NO! So Fuck em! (more on them hater… Sorry later)

So I did what I wanted to do. I did the show and enjoyed every minute of it. I still chat to Rikki and still shout him in interviews. If it wasn’t for him putting his faith in a gym instructor/wanna be actor I would not be here today. (maybe literally) I definitely wouldn’t be doing the job I’m doing.

I love the show… it was the beginning of my career, and once I realised that unless you land lord of the rings, no first job is really gonna put you where you strive to be… It was a learning experience that was the beginning of my plans.

Metrosexuality - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212216/

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JOB BLOG 2: - SHORT AND SHORTER

So it’s 1999-2000 and after playing the lead in the 6 part series Metrosexuality which has just come out. I thought I’d just get acting jobs. Like most actors, i thought that’s what would happen and of course thought i was good enough.

Not so.

There was no acting work after filming it, and no acting work after it came out. so after filming it I was straight back in the gym hustling and working my arse off, cleaning peoples sweat of gym machines, doing programmes and training etc.

This was also the time I started really thinking about taking my writing seriously. I had always written stuff but didn’t really know how to properly write a script. I knew that I wasn’t getting acting work, but even looking at the things that were on TV and film I was thinking would I really wanna be doing that or something like…? I didn’t know what but knew that it had to be different.

I bought a whole bunch of screenplays, saved up for a while, bought screenwriting software and started writing a few things, a few ideas. The first script I wrote was with my mate Geoff (BIG UP GEOFF) and started life being called Remembering Jessie and ended up being called the perfect little life. It’s still sitting on my laptop.

Maybe I’ll let you read it one day.

Anyway I was beginning to think about going back to Uni when… Rikki beadle blair saved me… again.

He was the one that gave me my first ever job… (read JOB BLOG 1) He came back to me with two short films. The first he wrote but didn’t direct. It was called NATIVE. I played a Jamaican immigrant in the UK in the 60’s it was based on his life and I was in it with Will Johnson.

The second, he directed. It was written by a bunch of students for the big breakfast short film competition and was called TAKE2 it starred me,https://twitter.com/preeyakalidas and a young man called https://twitter.com/Ashleywalters82 yep, I’ve known him that long. Not a lot of people know that.

People have tried to play us against each other over the years… but you know what, he’s a legend. you all failed. I ain’t a hater I like and respect him more than most because he’s real, if it was not for him a lot of films that people love, a lot of opportunities that certain people have had, including me, would never have happened so BIG UP ASH! Always.

Anyway… with the hype of Metrosexuality and two short films… I decided to try and get an agent. I got my head shots done, bought a book called contacts and sent 50 tapes and headshots out to the agents out there in London and another 15 to casting directors.

I only got 2 replies from agents… Only one of them wanted to take me on, so I went with them.

I was now an actor with an agent… Surely things were gonna change now right?

Wrong!

NATIVE:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285769/

TAKE2: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286194/

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JOB BLOG 3: - DOING THE ROUNDS: PT 1

ALMOST Not even near FAMOUS Known

It’s late 2000. I’ve finally got an agent. In all honesty they were the only people out of 50 agents I approached that were willing to give me a shot. (And although I’m not with them now, I still love them; spoke to them a couple of days ago).

Anyway I’m thinking that after doing Metrosexuality and the two short films that things are about to change for me. But they’re not really, the agent is great, but it’s not about them, It’s kind of about, Nobody wants to take a meeting with the untrained guy who has 3 little jobs on his CV.

A few people did actually see me and they know who they are and I’m very thankful to them to this day. Then of course their were the couple that saw me and looked at my almost blank CV and turned it over to look at the other side as if there would be 100 more jobs on the flipside. That shit hurt the most, but it toughens you, makes you look em dead in the eye, like WHAT?!

Getting auditions was tough. I was still happily working in the gym, and I realised that it was like this for the vast majority of actors, but while a lot of people were moaning, some people seemed like they were doing something about it. I wanted to be one of those people. I had already written one script (See JOB BLOG 2) but did I really wanna write for a living? “I’m an actor damn-it” and how would anything I write ever get made? Was thinking maybe i should just go back to uni an quit it all.

But low and behold I manage to get a few auditions, but everything was always. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Let me tell you something now, if you are gonna be in this biz, you are gonna hear the word NO A lot. It comes in different forms…

…Like this – “it’s not gonna work this time – You’re not quite right – They’re going in a different direction – They loved you but …“  Bottom line is though that it’s all the same thing.

It can be frustrating, but that’s the way it is. What I advise and what i started doing was asking for feedback… When my agent told me I didn’t get something I’d ask why? What did i do wrong? Or more importantly, what did i not do right? Be warned Agents aren’t always given feedback, it’s time consuming for all involved if they have to do that for everyone, but my agent asked for me and I started getting feedback that I feel helped me improve.

Then one day, I got an audition for THE BILL. Now for a guy that had never got a job that Rikki beadle blair wasn’t connected to, this was a big deal. I travel down do my audition do my thing and head back to the gym. (To work, not train)

A few days later I got the call. I was on THE BILL. Two weeks later I was on set filming. Playing my mate and still a mate to this day, although apart from the occasional lunch I barely ever seen him and we never really hang out was a young and very, very talented https://twitter.com/#!/REGYATES  Look at him now. BIG LOVE REG!

So that was my first job out there on my own, and they filmed so quickly it was pretty scary. I thought I was great, I see it now and obviously I was shit. But the bill is/or was part of the learning curve in this country; most people have passed through there at some point.

Not long after I got a tiny bit on WAKING THE DEAD… two scenes, again working with Will Johnson. Someone who was very supportive of me, and someone I hooked up at a later date. Again, I was shit in it, but I was still learning.  (That is no excuse, just a reason)

Then another little job, this time, playing the friend of the daughter, in a pilot called JUDGE JOHN DEEDS… I was in a scene with a young man Called JAMES CORDEN and of course Martin Shaw. The scene ended up getting cut I think.

So I’d done 3 more jobs. Tiny ones, but all things that were all considered stepping-stones. Surely now things would take off? HA HA! You may think so, but I’m afraid that’s just not the way it works for barely anyone and only my naivety thought that it did. I was sure I could do more, but wasn’t being given the chance. So I just kept doing my shifts at the gym.

the end…

P.S… I started also started planning out a little script based on me and my friends growing up, in and around Ladbroke grove. We weren’t bad kids #Notaganster but had seen stuff. Couldn’t think of a clever name so decided on calling it KiDULTHOOD. Kids growing up before their time into adults (It’ll never catch on). it was relevant to me growing up and the kids now a days. Didn’t think anyone would like it though, it was really just for me.

THE BILL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0525037/

WAKING THE DEAD: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0743350/

JUDGE JOHN DEEDS: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0302128/

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JOB BLOG 4: - DOING THE ROUNDS: PT 2

BIGGER THE FALL THE HIGHER THE BOUNCE (but not for me)

Early 2001… I was on a down. I was starting to get frustrated. Why wasn’t I getting seen for the jobs? Why couldn’t I get work? The agent didn’t have an answer. I knew what the answer was. It wasn’t their fault; the jobs simply weren’t there. I wasn’t even half a name in the business, I had nothing really going on and I was simply not good enough. Honestly sometimes as an unemployed actor you really have to think about quitting and getting a proper job. This part of 2001 was one of those times.

I was still at the gym, people asked me all the time when are you gonna do this? How is that? What are you on next? It was embarrassing, you feel like you have to say that you are just waiting for the right thing or that you are writing stuff. I was. You see family and friends at events and they ask you, what are you working on now? And you say the same thing but really you just can’t get a fucking job.

I kept auditioning and eventually I landed a 3 episode part on CASUALTY. I was happy about that but you go do your thing and leave. Most of the regulars were absolutely lovely; Adjoa Andoh for example (who I would work with again) but some treat you like… Well I won’t say, but I left there thinking I can do more than this. Why am not getting the work I want? And it played in my head over, and over, and over, and over again.

I was still writing and by now KiDULTHOOD was written but just sort of sitting on my computer. I’d also co-written a wedding film called the THE KNOT with some friends and a short called LICKS, but as nothing was happening at all my friends and I decided to produce LICKS ourselves, starring me and http://twitter.com/#!/ortisdeley among others. It was a steep learning curve and we spent a lot of money we didn’t have, money that a gym instructor couldn’t afford. Times got tough, but I at least felt I’d taken control and done something for myself instead of waiting for others, and you know what? I liked it.

I then landed a few other small roles, one in a short called THE LAST ANGEL and a one episode guest spot on a US show called ADVENTURES INC - Things I was happy about getting, but things that made me realise even more that if I was to do anything good, anything great in this business I would have to try and do it myself. But then I got a call that made me think my luck was about to change.

A certain channel was making a new 6-part Cop show, with an old cop and a young new cop. And they’d seen Metrosexuality and wanted me to be the young cop. I couldn’t believe it. No audition, nothing, this job was mine. I went in and met the people and it was all-good. I was beside myself; finally I was getting what I thought in my head I deserved. It all started getting set up; the producers were nice and then one day in prep they switched directors and the new director wanted me to suddenly come and read for them.

WTF?? I was so confused; I thought this was my job. They assured me it was and that she just wanted to get my vibe. I go and read, she nodded, smiled, shook my hand and I left. Two days later my agent got a letter saying that I no longer had the job and perhaps I should consider going to acting classes.

I was at my lowest point…. I was broke, I was not getting any auditions, and even jobs I had I was getting kicked off. My mum wanted to know when I was getting a proper job, my girl couldn’t keep supporting me and on top of that, I was told I should go and take classes. I WAS SIMPLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I vowed that would get those producers back in my head. (I hold grudges. That’s how I roll. It drives me)

Days, weeks, months went by with nothing, no calls, and no auditions except for cattle call advert auditions where they really make you feel shit. Jumping around like a lunatic, for nothing

I’d never given up on anything in my life but I was getting older and I was beginning to think that although acting was everything to me, I didn’t mean shit to it… I was thinking I needed to get a real job or maybe go back to uni, I was thinking maybe I should quit.

Then the phone rang.

CASUALTY: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0537566/

LICKS: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0353666/

THE LAST ANGEL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318396/

ADVENTURES INC: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0505562/

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JOB BLOG 5: - BEING SHIT AND WRITING HITS:

Mid-2001. Months in and I hadn’t worked yet, well a bit, but not on anything that I’d be proud of. Nothing you’d tell your children you’d done or talk about at family gatherings when the smug relatives who said acting was a stupid profession asked, “What are you working on?”

I’d been writing a lot and my little story that I wrote for me, based a bit on my life and mostly about today’s young people was finished. I called it ‘Kidulthood’ but a lot of people didn’t like the name, a lot of people couldn’t say the name and kept saying kid-adulthood, which still pisses me off to this day.

Truthfully, there weren’t many jobs around, even more truthfully I was nowhere near good enough. I was shit. I couldn’t afford drama school so accessed emotions and things differently, I had to learn how to make my techniques work in auditions and on camera and I hadn’t quite mastered it yet. Don’t know if you ever do or if I ever will. Actors can put in great performances but you never see the 20 shit takes we do before the good one because the director and editor only put the best one in.

Then the phone rang, an audition for the soap ‘Family Affairs.’ Now this may sound like the most ungrateful thing you will ever read after moaning about not getting auditions, but I really didn’t want to go. It wasn’t that I disliked the show, I didn’t really watch it, it was more my naivety or arrogance depending on your opinion. In my mind I’d seen more for myself than being in a soap especially one that wasn’t the main two. So I went to the audition and did my thing and a few days later I get the call.

I GOT THE JOB!

My agent was ecstatic she had already started talking money and it was a fair bit. The type of figure that my mum (who was a nurse) would have to work full time for 3 years to get and my friends I went to university with, now in decent jobs would have to work 2 years to get. Family and friends wanted me to do it, my agent wanted me to do it, my mum wanted me to do it, but I didn’t.

I didn’t want to do it. At the time financially it was hard for a broke gym-instructor wannabe actor to say no, but in my mind, I knew I had to. So I did. I said No! A few people were pissed off but I had a vision of where I could be. A plan and that wasn’t a part of it. My girl and my real boys backed me 100% and so that was that. Back to the grind, back to the gym.

Not long after I got an audition for a play at the Oval House called ‘TALKING ABOUT MEN’. It was directed by a guy called Steven Lucky, it was the second touring run of the play about male relationships and I was to play a lead part as a gay man hanging out in sauna. Now I’m not homophobic but I was young and this was a tough choice for me. I had all sorts of people saying I had no stage experience and I was determined to get it, then a play comes up that has me naked and smooching a dude on stage for a month. I couldn’t sleep for days. I’m a pure heterosexual fanny-loving, booby-feeling, lady-shagging guy so I agonised for a while on this until almost a week later my agent called and said they need an answer now!

I was on the phone in silence then thought, man up Clarke… Do you want to be an actor? Or do you want to be a guy who says he’s wants to be an actor but not in anything that challenges him. I want to be challenged. It was as tough for me as was not taking the money on the soap but this was a challenge that meant I would know if I was actually cut out for this, or not. Will Smith did it in ‘Six Degrees of Separation.’ Hilary Swank had everything out and did all sorts in ‘Boys don’t Cry.’ Who the fuck am I? “Fuck it, I’ll do it.” I said. Agent was well chuffed.

I did the play and toured the country and loved it. Hated smooching the guy, but as a character, people never knew that and were surprised that I was straight when speaking to the actors in the bar afterwards. BRAP!! The performance of my short career so far.

So now things were gonna get better? Not really. Back in the gym again, broke as a joke again and not much going on again, still not getting TV or film castings and almost back to square 1. So to stop myself going mad I re-wrote KiDULTHOOD and it became 70% of what it is today. All I could think was if I could play a part like Trife in Kidulthood then people will see that I really can act.

Someone please just gimme a chance, just gimme a chance, just gimme a chance, just gimme ONE chance.

Another month or so went by then I got a call. 2 auditions this week. One for another part in ‘Family Affairs’ apparently they still liked me and now wanted me for another part and the other was for the re-make of a show called ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet.’

I had been doing a few classes at the actors centre and had really worked on sight-reading which I was pretty good at anyway, so I went to both auditions really relaxed. I’ve never been the nervous type in auditions but had learnt how to prepare and really show that I was interested in learning as much as putting my point across.

The main point and something I think you should always be aware of is that in an audition you should be able to take direction. If you’ve practiced the scene one way then walk into the room and they want it another way, change on the spot. Change immediately to what they want. Piss or get off the pot, simple.

So I went and did the auditions. I remember thinking that ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet’ was just a remake with a new cast, not that it was actually with the original legends and that the only new member was the part I was up for.

I did them both… and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited. ‘Family Affairs’ came back first. Another offer. I was happy but just the same situation as before but with money getting tighter and me getting older I was actually considering it this time but I held out hoping for my one chance, hoping I would get ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet.’ Hoping, still waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Any of you that are actors and go and do auditions know that you spend a lot of time waiting. From the moment you walk out of an audition you have 2 choices. Replay it in your head, or block it out. I’m a block it out guy, but either way, you’re still waiting. So that’s what I did… that’s what I still do.

Then I got the call. They wanted me. One question. Can you drive? Fucking shit, shitty shit shit… I didn’t have a license. (I was familiar with cars, is all I can say here, but I didn’t have a license) My agent told me “you are the number 1 choice but they need you to drive, if you can pass your test in 3 weeks the jobs yours.” My response. “Oh fuck”

I made my to do list

-        Book lessons√

-        Book theory test√

-        Start lessons√

-        Get on driving test cancelations list √

-        Pass the cunt (pending)

To be fair they never asked me if I could drive, so this was a surprise. But if they had asked, I would’ve said yes anyway. Actors have a habit of saying they can do anything to get a job.

Can you box? “Yes”

Can you swim well? “Of course”.

Can you sky dive? “Yeah”.

Ever fought a hippo? “Sure”.

Swam with sharks? “Have done”.

Did you kill the dinosaurs? “I was there, so learnt how to do it”.

Word of advice to actors, don’t lie about what you can do - unless you are willing to get it done. A director buddy of mine told me recently about a short film he cast where the lead actor said he could play something well and when they got on set, he couldn’t. The director’s not happy and said he’s telling everyone he meets.

That shit can come back to haunt you, so either don’t lie, or if you do - the time between getting the job and filming - go out of your fucking mind to learn. Long story short I passed my test and got the job.

The chance that I’d been asking for was here, but was it everything I thought it would be?

COMING SOON:

 JOB BLOG 6 – QUAIL EGGS AND RED ROCK MOUNTAINS

Get all news about everything clarke here. 

http://www.noelclarkeofficial.com/noelclarke/

https://twitter.com/#!/NoelClarke

http://www.facebook.com/NoelClarkeOfficial

http://foursquare.com/noelclarke

http://www.unstoppableentertainmentuk.com/

http://twitter.com/#!/unstoppableltd

Thanks for reading. Hope it spurs you on to keep going! More to come soon.

 

 

 

17th February 2011

Post with 10 notes

JOB BLOG 5: BEING SHIT AND WRITING HITS:

Mid-2001. Months in and I hadn’t worked yet, well a bit, but not on anything that I’d be proud of. Nothing you’d tell your children you’d done or talk about at family gatherings when the smug relatives who said acting was a stupid profession asked, “What are you working on?”

I’d been writing a lot and my little story that I wrote for me, based a bit on my life and mostly about today’s young people was finished. I called it ‘Kidulthood’ but a lot of people didn’t like the name, a lot of people couldn’t say the name and kept saying kid-adulthood, which still pisses me off to this day.

Truthfully, there weren’t many jobs around, even more truthfully I was nowhere near good enough. I was shit. I couldn’t afford drama school so accessed emotions and things differently, I had to learn how to make my techniques work in auditions and on camera and I hadn’t quite mastered it yet. Don’t know if you ever do or if I ever will. Actors can put in great performances but you never see the 20 shit takes we do before the good one because the director and editor only put the best one in.

Then the phone rang, an audition for the soap ‘Family Affairs.’ Now this may sound like the most ungrateful thing you will ever read after moaning about not getting auditions, but I really didn’t want to go. It wasn’t that I disliked the show, I didn’t really watch it, it was more my naivety or arrogance depending on your opinion. In my mind I’d seen more for myself than being in a soap especially one that wasn’t the main two. So I went to the audition and did my thing and a few days later I get the call.

I GOT THE JOB!

My agent was ecstatic she had already started talking money and it was a fair bit. The type of figure that my mum (who was a nurse) would have to work full time for 3 years to get and my friends I went to university with, now in decent jobs would have to work 2 years to get. Family and friends wanted me to do it, my agent wanted me to do it, my mum wanted me to do it, but I didn’t.

I didn’t want to do it. At the time financially it was hard for a broke gym-instructor wannabe actor to say no, but in my mind, I knew I had to. So I did. I said No! A few people were pissed off but I had a vision of where I could be. A plan and that wasn’t a part of it. My girl and my real boys backed me 100% and so that was that. Back to the grind, back to the gym.

Not long after I got an audition for a play at the Oval House called ‘TALKING ABOUT MEN’. It was directed by a guy called Steven Lucky, it was the second touring run of the play about male relationships and I was to play a lead part as a gay man hanging out in sauna. Now I’m not homophobic but I was young and this was a tough choice for me. I had all sorts of people saying I had no stage experience and I was determined to get it, then a play comes up that has me naked and smooching a dude on stage for a month. I couldn’t sleep for days. I’m a pure heterosexual fanny-loving, booby-feeling, lady-shagging guy so I agonised for a while on this until almost a week later my agent called and said they need an answer now!

I was on the phone in silence then thought, man up Clarke… Do you want to be an actor? Or do you want to be a guy who says he’s wants to be an actor but not in anything that challenges him. I want to be challenged. It was as tough for me as was not taking the money on the soap but this was a challenge that meant I would know if I was actually cut out for this, or not. Will Smith did it in ‘Six Degrees of Separation.’ Hilary Swank had everything out and did all sorts in ‘Boys don’t Cry.’ Who the fuck am I? “Fuck it, I’ll do it.” I said. Agent was well chuffed.

I did the play and toured the country and loved it. Hated smooching the guy, but as a character, people never knew that and were surprised that I was straight when speaking to the actors in the bar afterwards. BRAP!! The performance of my short career so far.

So now things were gonna get better? Not really. Back in the gym again, broke as a joke again and not much going on again, still not getting TV or film castings and almost back to square 1. So to stop myself going mad I re-wrote KiDULTHOOD and it became 70% of what it is today. All I could think was if I could play a part like Trife in Kidulthood then people will see that I really can act.

Someone please just gimme a chance, just gimme a chance, just gimme a chance, just gimme ONE chance.

Another month or so went by then I got a call. 2 auditions this week. One for another part in ‘Family Affairs’ apparently they still liked me and now wanted me for another part and the other was for the re-make of a show called ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet.’

I had been doing a few classes at the actors centre and had really worked on sight-reading which I was pretty good at anyway, so I went to both auditions really relaxed. I’ve never been the nervous type in auditions but had learnt how to prepare and really show that I was interested in learning as much as putting my point across.

The main point and something I think you should always be aware of is that in an audition you should be able to take direction. If you’ve practiced the scene one way then walk into the room and they want it another way, change on the spot. Change immediately to what they want. Piss or get off the pot, simple.

So I went and did the auditions. I remember thinking that ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet’ was just a remake with a new cast, not that it was actually with the original legends and that the only new member was the part I was up for.

I did them both… and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited. ‘Family Affairs’ came back first. Another offer. I was happy but just the same situation as before but with money getting tighter and me getting older I was actually considering it this time but I held out hoping for my one chance, hoping I would get ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet.’ Hoping, still waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Any of you that are actors and go and do auditions know that you spend a lot of time waiting. From the moment you walk out of an audition you have 2 choices. Replay it in your head, or block it out. I’m a block it out guy, but either way, you’re still waiting. So that’s what I did… that’s what I still do.

Then I got the call. They wanted me. One question. Can you drive? Fucking shit, shitty shit shit… I didn’t have a license. (I was familiar with cars, is all I can say here, but I didn’t have a license) My agent told me “you are the number 1 choice but they need you to drive, if you can pass your test in 3 weeks the jobs yours.” My response. “Oh fuck”

I made my to do list

-   Book lessons√

-        Book theory test√

-        Start lessons√

-        Get on driving test cancelations list √

-        Pass the cunt (pending)

To be fair they never asked me if I could drive, so this was a surprise. But if they had asked, I would’ve said yes anyway. Actors have a habit of saying they can do anything to get a job.

Can you box? “Yes”

Can you swim well? “Of course”.

Can you sky dive? “Yeah”.

Ever fought a hippo? “Sure”.

Swam with sharks? “Have done”.

Did you kill the dinosaurs? “I was there, so learnt how to do it”.

Word of advice to actors, don’t lie about what you can do - unless you are willing to get it done. A director buddy of mine told me recently about a short film he cast where the lead actor said he could play something well and when they got on set, he couldn’t. The director’s not happy and said he’s telling everyone he meets.

That shit can come back to haunt you, so either don’t lie, or if you do - the time between getting the job and filming - go out of your fucking mind to learn. Long story short I passed my test and got the job.

The chance that I’d been asking for was here, but was it everything I thought it would be?

COMING SOON: JOB BLOG 6 – QUAIL EGGS AND RED ROCK MOUNTAINS

Get all news about everything clarke here. 

http://www.noelclarkeofficial.com/noelclarke/ 

https://twitter.com/#!/NoelClarke

 

 

28th January 2011

Post with 6 notes

JOB BLOG 4: - DOING THE ROUNDS: PT 2

BIGGER THE FALL THE HIGHER THE BOUNCE (but not for me)

Early 2001… I was on a down. I was starting to get frustrated. Why wasn’t I getting seen for the jobs? Why couldn’t I get work? The agent didn’t have an answer. I knew what the answer was. It wasn’t their fault; the jobs simply weren’t there. I wasn’t even half a name in the business, I had nothing really going on and I was simply not good enough. Honestly sometimes as an unemployed actor you really have to think about quitting and getting a proper job. This part of 2001 was one of those times.

I was still at the gym, people asked me all the time when are you gonna do this? How is that? What are you on next? It was embarrassing, you feel like you have to say that you are just waiting for the right thing or that you are writing stuff. I was. You see family and friends at events and they ask you, what are you working on now? And you say the same thing but really you just can’t get a fucking job.

I kept auditioning and eventually I landed a 3 episode part on CASUALTY. I was happy about that but you go do your thing and leave. Most of the regulars were absolutely lovely; Adjoa Andoh for example (who I would work with again) but some treat you like… Well I won’t say, but I left there thinking I can do more than this. Why am not getting the work I want? And it played in my head over, and over, and over, and over again.

I was still writing and by now KiDULTHOOD was written but just sort of sitting on my computer. I’d also co-written a wedding film called the THE KNOT with some friends and a short called LICKS, but as nothing was happening at all my friends and I decided to produce LICKS ourselves, starring me and http://twitter.com/#!/ortisdeley among others. It was a steep learning curve and we spent a lot of money we didn’t have, money that a gym instructor couldn’t afford. Times got tough, but I at least felt I’d taken control and done something for myself instead of waiting for others, and you know what? I liked it.

I then landed a few other small roles, one in a short called THE LAST ANGEL and a one episode guest spot on a US show called ADVENTURES INC - Things I was happy about getting, but things that made me realise even more that if I was to do anything good, anything great in this business I would have to try and do it myself. But then I got a call that made me think my luck was about to change.

A certain channel was making a new 6-part Cop show, with an old cop and a young new cop. And they’d seen Metrosexuality and wanted me to be the young cop. I couldn’t believe it. No audition, nothing, this job was mine. I went in and met the people and it was all-good. I was beside myself; finally I was getting what I thought in my head I deserved. It all started getting set up; the producers were nice and then one day in prep they switched directors and the new director wanted me to suddenly come and read for them.

WTF?? I was so confused; I thought this was my job. They assured me it was and that she just wanted to get my vibe. I go and read, she nodded, smiled, shook my hand and I left. Two days later my agent got a letter saying that I no longer had the job and perhaps I should consider going to acting classes.

I was at my lowest point…. I was broke, I was not getting any auditions, and even jobs I had I was getting kicked off. My mum wanted to know when I was getting a proper job, my girl couldn’t keep supporting me and on top of that, I was told I should go and take classes. I WAS SIMPLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I vowed that would get those producers back in my head. (I hold grudges. That’s how I roll. It drives me)

Days, weeks, months went by with nothing, no calls, and no auditions except for cattle call advert auditions where they really make you feel shit. Jumping around like a lunatic, for nothing

I’d never given up on anything in my life but I was getting older and I was beginning to think that although acting was everything to me, I didn’t mean shit to it… I was thinking I needed to get a real job or maybe go back to uni, I was thinking maybe I should quit.

Then the phone rang.

CASUALTY: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0537566/

LICKS: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0353666/

THE LAST ANGEL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318396/

ADVENTURES INC: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0505562/

 

COMING SOON: JOB BLOG 5 - BEING SHIT AND WRITING HITS.

 

Get all news about everything Clarke here. http://www.noelclarkeofficial.com/noelclarke/

https://twitter.com/#!/NoelClarke

 

 

20th October 2010

Post with 6 notes

JOB BLOG 3: - DOING THE ROUNDS: PT 1

ALMOST Not even near FAMOUS Known

It’s late 2000. I’ve finally got an agent. In all honesty they were the only people out of 50 agents I approached that were willing to give me a shot. (And although I’m not with them now, I still love them; spoke to them a couple of days ago).

Anyway I’m thinking that after doing Metrosexuality and the two short films that things are about to change for me. But they’re not really, the agent is great, but it’s not about them, It’s kind of about, Nobody wants to take a meeting with the untrained guy who has 3 little jobs on his CV.

A few people did actually see me and they know who they are and I’m very thankful to them to this day. Then of course their were the couple that saw me and looked at my almost blank CV and turned it over to look at the other side as if there would be 100 more jobs on the flipside. That shit hurt the most, but it toughens you, makes you look em dead in the eye, like WHAT?!

Getting auditions was tough. I was still happily working in the gym, and I realised that it was like this for the vast majority of actors, but while a lot of people were moaning, some people seemed like they were doing something about it. I wanted to be one of those people. I had already written one script (See JOB BLOG 2) but did I really wanna write for a living? “I’m an actor damn-it” and how would anything I write ever get made? Was thinking maybe i should just go back to uni an quit it all.

But low and behold I manage to get a few auditions, but everything was always. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Let me tell you something now, if you are gonna be in this biz, you are gonna hear the word NO A lot. It comes in different forms…

…Like this – “it’s not gonna work this time – You’re not quite right – They’re going in a different direction – They loved you but …“  Bottom line is though that it’s all the same thing.

It can be frustrating, but that’s the way it is. What I advise and what i started doing was asking for feedback… When my agent told me I didn’t get something I’d ask why? What did i do wrong? Or more importantly, what did i not do right? Be warned Agents aren’t always given feedback, it’s time consuming for all involved if they have to do that for everyone, but my agent asked for me and I started getting feedback that I feel helped me improve.

Then one day, I got an audition for THE BILL. Now for a guy that had never got a job that Rikki beadle blair wasn’t connected to, this was a big deal. I travel down do my audition do my thing and head back to the gym. (To work, not train)

A few days later I got the call. I was on THE BILL. Two weeks later I was on set filming. Playing my mate and still a mate to this day, although apart from the occasional lunch I barely ever seen him and we never really hang out was a young and very, very talented https://twitter.com/#!/REGYATES  Look at him now. BIG LOVE REG!

So that was my first job out there on my own, and they filmed so quickly it was pretty scary. I thought I was great, I see it now and obviously I was shit. But the bill is/or was part of the learning curve in this country; most people have passed through there at some point.

Not long after I got a tiny bit on WAKING THE DEAD… two scenes, again working with Will Johnson. Someone who was very supportive of me, and someone I hooked up at a later date. Again, I was shit in it, but I was still learning.  (That is no excuse, just a reason)

Then another little job, this time, playing the friend of the daughter, in a pilot called JUDGE JOHN DEEDS… I was in a scene with a young man Called JAMES CORDEN and of course Martin Shaw. The scene ended up getting cut I think.

So I’d done 3 more jobs. Tiny ones, but all things that were all considered stepping-stones. Surely now things would take off? HA HA! You may think so, but I’m afraid that’s just not the way it works for barely anyone and only my naivety thought that it did. I was sure I could do more, but wasn’t being given the chance. So I just kept doing my shifts at the gym.

the end…

P.S... I started also started planning out a little script based on me and my friends growing up, in and around Ladbroke grove. We weren’t bad kids #Notaganster but had seen stuff. Couldn’t think of a clever name so decided on calling it KiDULTHOOD. Kids growing up before their time into adults (It’ll never catch on). it was relevant to me growing up and the kids now a days. Didn’t think anyone would like it though, it was really just for me.

THE BILL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0525037/

WAKING THE DEAD: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0743350/

JUDGE JOHN DEEDS: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0302128/

 COMING SOON: 

 JOB BLOG 4: - DOING THE ROUNDS PT 2: BIGGER THE FALL THE HIGHER THE BOUNCE (but not for me)

Get all news about everything Clarke here. http://www.noelclarkeofficial.com/noelclarke/

https://twitter.com/#!/NoelClarke


20th October 2010

Post with 32 notes

YOU GOTTA LOVE OUR PEOPLE!!

So I don’t know how many of you know this but about a year and a half ago before 4.3.2.1 I was trying to set up a film for Samuel L Jackson to be in with me. I’d written it, film Company was on board and all that was needed was for me to meet the man and get talking to him.

It got set up, he was in London for something and I got to go to a private thing and meet him. We had a little chat and he was classic Samuel L. I left feeling pretty good. He was interested. It was now just locking it down.

So the next day I go to another event that he’s at. And an actor walks in. An actor I won’t name, but I rate him highly. I rate him so highly, I personally had made sure he was pulled in for audition for adulthood (Not casting) because i saw him on something.

He didn’t get the part in the end. Not because he wasn’t/isn’t great, but because, that’s just how it goes sometimes.

So anyway, he walks into this event and he’s acting a little funny but, so what… it happens. So while I’m talking to him. Samuel L Jackson comes over, gives him a hug, looks at me and says. “I thought you told me this guy didn’t like you” then smiles and walks off. WTF? Me and my boy Phil (Big up PHIL) were baffled.

Anyway turns out, this actor knows Mr Jackson well and had told him that I didn’t like him because he hadn’t got that part in adulthood and had been still vex about it.

Not only that, but they had been at a private dinner earlier in the evening when my name came up, about the possibility of the project I was working on and a whole bunch of people that supposedly don’t really know me/or don’t know me well/or may do, and are snakes. At that table started telling Mr Jackson how much they didn’t like me and that I was arrogant etc etc. And this actor was there the whole time.

When i finally spoke to the actor about it.

I asked the actor if he or anyone defended me? “Nope, i don’t know you well enough”

(But he knew me well enough to tell the guy i didn’t like him).

I asked the actor if he could tell me who the people were bad mouthing me? “I ain’t no snitch”.

So basically that was it. The momentum flittered away and the film didn’t happen… You know what. Honestly It may never have happened anyway, there was a way to go but I’ll never know…

Now my point here is this. Instead of people just letting me do my thing, they went out of their way to derail what I was doing. It’s not about the accusations of arrogance or anything like that. Maybe I was/am/not/will be/should be more/should be less. That doesn’t actually matter.

Some people think I am. Some people think I’m not.

Some people love the films. Some people hate the films.

Some people like everything about me. Some people hate everything about me.

So what? That’s life.

And that is the same for every actor and probably everybody else in the world. Everything comes down to people’s opinions. But he wasn’t given a chance to form an opinion. He was given an opinion by people he knew better than he knew me. They went out of their way to influence and stop my thing from happening.

You can dislike people all you want but what about live and let live?

Here’s my/the problem. Do you think Diddy letting Skepta do that mix of his track helps Skepta or does it help ALL GRIME music and all people involved in it?

Unless you’re stupid you know that it is ALL GRIME. Diddy doing that puts it all on a whole new level.

It doesn’t matter if you like Skepta… Which I do. But that doesn’t matter. The doors that have opened because diddy and skepta done that will never close again. That has changed everything… Sure it helps him short term, but long term it’s everyone.

So if it had worked do you think a film by me, with me in, with Samuel L Jackson in it would have helped me or all people trying to make the types of films that I’ve made so far. Answer, short term, yeah me… Answer long term. E V E R Y O N E.

Why? Because once an actor of his Calibre puts his seal of approval on something like this and validates it, it means other actors would follow suit, and once you have him, you can cast all the people you really wanna cast instead of having to get other names to make the package worth it to a financer, thus giving new actors a chance to shine.

But this actor and these other people as far as i’m aware, as far as my understanding is, fucked it. I never found out who they were,  and they should really pray that I never do, but I hope they have a plan to make a film with someone of that calibre that can help us all, because they sure ruined mine and it’s tough out there.

As for this actor….

On a professional tip I wish him well. If you really, really, actually know me, you know I’m not a hater. I help people you don’t even know I help, and I say nothing about it, because I don’t need to, and of course they are happy to never mention it either, lol That’s cool though… I’ve given up time with my own kid (who is my world) to work on other peoples things, because that’s just me… Sometimes they appreciate it, other times you think they do then realise later they don’t, but them’s the breaks.

So anyway, the actor. I wish the guy well. I really do. He’s got a big agent, he’s doing big things. And most importantly he is a phenomenal talent, both on stage and screen… It’s a tough business, but I think he could win big things one day because he takes the craft seriously, and I’ll be the first to applaud him if he does. And I ain’t kissing ass, because I don’t need to.

On a personal tip… I’m on some next level un-forgiveness shit. That film not happening messed up over 2 years of planning and work and took food off my table for my baby son. I can’t and won’t ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever forgive that. That’s something I just can’t fucking do. We should all remember that although people rise, they also fall… everybody does, i have, and will again… everybody does… Everybody needs somebody.

If he can’t see why I’m vex or thinks “I ain’t a snitch” cuts it with me, so I don’t even know who these people that caused this to happen are. It doesn’t. 

And you know the one thing that really amazes me in all of this, is how people, particularly some cultures (you know what I’m talking about) of people not only dislike when one of their own is doing well. They really try and stop it from happening… Just because it’s not them.

You gotta love our people.

NC

**EDIT**

A REPLY FROM SOMEONE CLAIMING TO BE SLJ

YOU GOTTA LOVE OUR PEOPLE, YOU REALLY DO!

You Gotta Love Our People, you really do! They find more excuses for their shortcomings & then convince themselves it is someone else’s fault. I can’t count the number of people I’ve met that have a script or project that was “written for me”. I only remember this because of the incident w/ the unnamed actor (whassup widdat?!). I did ask the actor, “Is this the nigga that doesn’t like you?”,& laughed. NC looked shocked! He sputtered something & tried to recover. The actor said it wasn’t like that & laughed, I left them standing there. Now here’s the thing, that ‘company was on board’, all I need to do is talk to the man, was never discussed after our first meeting! Even then, it was only NC saying he’d written this script for me to star in & someone was supposed to set up a meeting. It never happened! Bruthas bullshit bruthas all the time. I was just fucking w/NC’s head about the young actor. GUILT now rears it’s ugly head, as the audition story for adulthood was nothing like you said. That’s all good, but own it!! TWO YEARS later you’re still clinging to the lie you’ve created to justify your career stagnation.  Move on Playa, we have!

BTW don’t be afraid to name names, as many people as you’ve apparently helped, it would surely elevate you in your readers eyes to know just how much you’ve contributed to the cultural landscape. Not to mention how many of us owe you a hand up, or at least a shout out at the BAFTAS!

Samuel L Jackson

********************

MY REPLY TO THAT

Very good answer to the Gotta love our people Blog!! different perspective on things.http://clarity2010.tumblr.com/ 

here is my reply

Don’t believe I lied about anything, (I TRY not to in life, although I sure as damn hell ain’t perfect). That’s the story from my perspective, this is obviously your’s whether you are really SLJ or not.

And it is true, the meeting never happened after the first meeting, I was told interest wasn’t there. That may have been because of various things but i put it down to the incident and what was said. At the time i was repped by the same agents in LA, so heard pretty quickly, happy to hold my hands up if wrong.

Don’t see what i have to be guilty about? I never disliked the guy and that was the first time i’d seen him since. Of course i sputtered and tried to recover because i didn’t know what the fuck anyone was talking about. The guy did get called for adulthood audition because of me, who else would have done that? He did also tell me he was vex for not getting a part.

Also short comings or not, which i do have many of. (I’m not the best at anything I do, not even near, but i’m trying ringo, i’m trying). The same actor told me that these people said these things around the table. I’m allowed to be annoyed at that no?

I’m not afraid to name names, but I feel like, people have enough public beef, it was just a story i wanted to tell. Not start a public thing, and i do rate the guy i think he’s gonna go far. I’ve crossed paths with him since on a project for another guy and we were both very amicable.

Career Stagnation?? Be interested to know what you class that as since you know nothing about what i’m doing. But cheers anyway man, that’s kind of you. It’s a shame that a person such as yourself (if this is you) would feel the need to throw that at someone, when you more than anyone know that this job has massive ups and downs, but cool. We all can only do what we can do.

And the people i “apparently” help know who they are, so i don’t need to shout their names because that’s not why I do it, I’m not trying to elevate myself in the eyes of others. I want people to break out over here, I think it benefits us all if we help each other.

And you’re right again, I should probably have let this go. I’m not perfect like you obviously and since i had my kid i find it harder to forgive things that i deem as jeopardising his future. which unfortunately is still something i have to worry about. I don’t make millions of $$ per project. So when you say “let it go, WE have” If you mean you, well it probably wouldn’t have meant as much to you and your millions as it did to me, so why would you be bothered about it. 

So if this is you, then thank you for taking the time from what i’m sure is a busy schedule to put your side of the story across. My side is my side, so i guess we both have to deal with the difference of opinion.

And for real. if i’m a dickhead for writing the first blog, which actually wasn’t intended to be offensive, just a story. But if I’m a wasteman for writing it… What does that make you for even bothering to respond?

If it’s not you then, it’s only one of two other people, or both of them, but again, thanks boys for answering back, least i know your perspective on things, no need for the rudeness i don’t believe I was rude about you in the slightest, just shows what you are all about. Keep on doing your thing boys and may stagnation never happen to you.

Nuff love (really)

NC

12th October 2010

Post with 7 notes

JOB BLOG 2: - SHORT AND SHORTER

So it’s 1999-2000 and after playing the lead in the 6 part series Metrosexuality which has just come out. I thought I’d just get acting jobs. Like most actors, i thought that’s what would happen and of course thought i was good enough.

Not so.

There was no acting work after filming it, and no acting work after it came out. so after filming it I was straight back in the gym hustling and working my arse off, cleaning peoples sweat of gym machines, doing programmes and training etc.

This was also the time I started really thinking about taking my writing seriously. I had always written stuff but didn’t really know how to properly write a script. I knew that I wasn’t getting acting work, but even looking at the things that were on TV and film I was thinking would I really wanna be doing that or something like…? I didn’t know what but knew that it had to be different.

I bought a whole bunch of screenplays, saved up for a while, bought screenwriting software and started writing a few things, a few ideas. The first script I wrote was with my mate Geoff (BIG UP GEOFF) and started life being called Remembering Jessie and ended up being called the perfect little life. It’s still sitting on my laptop.

Maybe I’ll let you read it one day.

Anyway I was beginning to think about going back to Uni when… Rikki beadle blair saved me… again.

He was the one that gave me my first ever job… (read JOB BLOG 1) He came back to me with two short films. The first he wrote but didn’t direct. It was called NATIVE. I played a Jamaican immigrant in the UK in the 60’s it was based on his life and I was in it with Will Johnson.

The second, he directed. It was written by a bunch of students for the big breakfast short film competition and was called TAKE2 it starred me, https://twitter.com/preeyakalidas and a young man called https://twitter.com/Ashleywalters82 yep, I’ve known him that long. Not a lot of people know that.

People have tried to play us against each other over the years… but you know what, he’s a legend. you all failed. I ain’t a hater I like and respect him more than most because he’s real, if it was not for him a lot of films that people love, a lot of opportunities that certain people have had, including me, would never have happened so BIG UP ASH! Always.

Anyway… with the hype of Metrosexuality and two short films… I decided to try and get an agent. I got my head shots done, bought a book called contacts and sent 50 tapes and headshots out to the agents out there in London and another 15 to casting directors.

I only got 2 replies from agents… Only one of them wanted to take me on, so I went with them.

I was now an actor with an agent… Surely things were gonna change now right?

Wrong!

NATIVE:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285769/

TAKE2: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286194/

Look out for JOB BLOG 3: - DOING THE ROUNDS

Get all news about everything Clarke here.http://www.noelclarkeofficial.com/noelclarke/

NC

5th October 2010

Post with 9 notes

JOB BLOG 1: - THE SNOWBALL EFFECT

HETROSEXUALITY/METROSEXUALITY

 

It’s 1999 all I’ve ever wanted to do with my life is act. It’s been 3 months since I left Uni to try acting for a year (In my naivety, I thought a year was enough) I’m about to start the pilot of Metrosexuality which is called Heterosexuality and I think I’m untouchable.

 

How very wrong I was.

 

So basically I’d been working in a gym and I heard that a guy I know a bit, director Rikki beadle Blair https://twitter.com/RikkiBB is gonna shoot the pilot of his show.

 

I asked if I could audition because the whole point of me going full time in the gym was to try and get into acting somehow with a flexible job like this I could get it done. I was kind of too old to play a 16 year old, but he told me if I could look young then I could go along.

 

Cue-shaving face-head and legs (shut up)

 

Anyway, because there is only so far a gym wage can take you, after bills and living, and because for whatever reason I’d spent a lot of money that month, I could only really get a bus one way.

 

I decided to get the bus there so I wouldn’t arrive sweaty. I smacked the audition and was walking home when I got the call that the CH4 producers were happy for me to be the lead. I had no agent or anything but it was a job… A start.

 

Weirdly though, I thought that was it. Like a lot of young actors do, I thought that was it, and once you were in you would just be doing films and TV whenever you wanted. I never really thought about the rejection after rejection, after rejection, after rejection, after rejection, after rejection, after rejection, that you get as an actor. Truth is 90% of actors don’t work.

 

It’s hard. You have to want it, because it’s you. Because it’s all you are… Not for fame or money or anything like that. It has to be a part of you.

 

Anyway, so the job itself was great. I didn’t think it would ever become a series, but after the pilot channel 4 commissioned a 6 part series and Metrosexuality was born.

 

It was a vibrant colourful show straight from Rikki’s mind. he acted, wrote and starred in it and it is from him that I take a lot of my work ethic. It was also the first time I met a mr Mark Davis (4321) and a young lady called https://twitter.com/preeyakalidas 

We became friends and have been friends ever since.  Not a lot of people know that.

Being a multi cultural, multi sexual show, the show itself caused some controversy and I had a lot of shallow so called friends dropped off, not really wanting to associate with guy in the “gay” show.

 

It was tough round the manor and I did think about not doing it. I was never scared to be an individual, my mum taught me that. But that’s when me and my real boys, actively started our fuck em mindset. “it ain’t even an issue, you ain’t with me, I do my thing myself”. (Big Up PHIL, DES, GEOFF, and DAVIE)

 

So once I came to my senses my mindset was this. In the future are any of these people telling me not to do this job going to pay my bills for me?

 

NO! So Fuck em! (more on them hater… Sorry later)

 

So I did what I wanted to do. I did the show and enjoyed every minute of it. I still chat to Rikki and still shout him in interviews. If it wasn’t for him putting his faith in a gym instructor/wanna be actor I would not be here today. (maybe literally) I definitely wouldn’t be doing the job I’m doing.

 

I love the show… it was the beginning of my career, and once I realised that unless you land lord of the rings, no first job is really gonna put you where you strive to be… It was a learning experience that was the beginning of my plans.

 

Metrosexuality - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212216/

Official site http://www.noelclarkeofficial.com/noelclarke/


 NC


17th August 2010

Post with 17 notes

SPIDER-BAN

So I’m sitting in bed last night fiddling with the ipad (The machine, not anything else) I close it up, lift the covers to scooch down for the nights lie down, and there in MY bed is a spider the size of a fifty pence piece about to bite my balls. It freaked me the f*ck out. I jumped out of the bed so fast, i fell and almost ended up with my nuts in my mouth while that fucker tried to scuttle away. Now I’m not scared of spiders but the fact this one was in my bed and about to crawl up my c*ck meant i was pretty fricking angry about it. Anyway, I’m writing this to apologise to animal/arachnid lovers and the RSPCA, because i had to beat that bitch to death with my ipad I still had in my hand. I would like to apologise to apple too. Clarke 2* Creatures 0 *first victory was against a slug who nearly beat me the other day. i hate those fuckers.